Challenge Week 3: Transforming Your Lowest Level Habit

"Breaking free from the chains of unhealthy behaviors can allow you to take a quantum leap forward in your life. But until you do, there's no end to the amount of time we can spend imprisoned, missing out on the full spectrum of what life has to offer."

"The unhealthy behavior is what someone does, not what someone is."

I think I might be addicted to tv and gossip blogs and facebook. They take me out of my reality and keep me from accomplishing what I need to accomplish. The time spent on tv and those sites can be spent working, working out, finding solutions for my problems. Instead, it is a big escape and time suck. I can't even sleep without the sounds of the tv to mask any house sounds which cause me such anxiety at night. Because of them I don't sleep well. They aren't adding to my life. Also, I eat mindlessly in front of both.

After careful consideration, I've become aware that my lowest level habit - the one which will most interfere with my future health and happiness is:

Watching too much television and browsing gossip websites.

I now hold the intention of being freed from chains of my unhealthy habit.

Yes, I hold the intention of being freed from the chains of watching too much television and mindlessly browsing gossip websites at work.

Knowing that if I were able to overcome this negative pattern on my own, I would have done it by now, I am asking for help from:

God, my therapist.

Three unhealthy feelings that originate from my lowest level habit are:

Helplessness -- I feel like these things are more powerful than I am
Disgust -- I am mad that hours have gone by and I have nothing to show for it
Depression -- Sad and angry with myself for doing the same thing over and over

Three ways these feelings interfere with my life are:

I find it hard to do positive things for myself.
I can't operative from a negative position so I feel lost and hopeless.
I lose confidence in myself, which also keeps me from doing positive, productive things.

Three conditions that trigger my lowest level habit are:

Feeling overwhelmed
Stress
Loneliness

Three people who will help support and keep me accountable as I work to overcome this personal challenge are:

My therapist
My friends
My sisters

Three feelings I'll have when I'm freed from this unhealthy habit are:

I'll feel in control, productive, and confident.

Three ways my life will improve from transcending my lowest level habit are:

I'll be healthier and more rested.
I'll be more productive at work and therefore more confident.
I'll be mindfully taking control of my life.

Tranformation Challenge Week #2

Healthy Spaces Makeover
"What we surround ourselves with we tend to become."

Three people whom I can count on to support and encourage me, as well as help me be accountable for the work I need to do in order to reach my transformation goals are:

My therapist -- he is encouraging me to workout and take better care of myself
My sister, J -- she is trying to tranform herself as well
My friend, C -- she lives a healthy lifestyle

Three people who may not, at this time, empower or support my efforts to transform are:

SO-- has too much stress of his own
JTG -- doesn't know how

Three places I can be which will empower or support my efforts to transform are:

Central Park
Health food store
Gym/Fitness class

Three places I've been in the last few months which I may need to avoid are:

My desk at work: Can't quite avoid it but I am too sedentary and don't move around enough during the day.
My sofa while watching television -- I can literally feel myself getting fatter
Starbucks -- Sugary drinks, cow milk vs. soy, high calorie snacks. Not a good place for me.

I also need to declutter my home.

I took my measurements today. Did everything except for my weight. That number holds too much power for me. I might weight next month or in a few months. I think I will concentrate on getting my measurements down and blood sugar in control. I also took my before photos. The Transformation is on!

Week 1: Transformation Challenge

I am doing Bill Phillip's 18-week Transformation Challenge and below are answers to the Week #1 assignment.

1) Transformation is going from a lower to a higher state of being.
2) It's the ending of something old and the beginning of something new.
3) There's a degree of permanence, of irreversibility to it.

-- taken from Bill Phillip's Transformation Challenge, Week #1

HEART AND SOUL/Three values for my life, which I hold deep within my heart:

I want to live with integrity, humility, love, peace, and honor.
I want to honor my body/temple with good nutrition and exercise and achieve my best health.
I want to let people know how much they mean to me.

EMOTIONS/In recent days and weeks, the three most predominant inner feelings I have been experiencing can be specifically described with these words:

Sadness, disgust, frustration.

MINDSET/Three beliefs about my ability to change, which are evident through my past behavior are:

I can't stick with anything.
I am so far in the hole that it is impossible to climb out.
I have exactly the body I deserve.

BODY/Three objectively verifiable and measureable statements which reflect my physical health right now are:

Weight/waist measurement tk
Blood sugar tk
Before pics -- front, back side tk

HEART AND SOUL/Looking forward, 18 weeks from now, describe three things that you are doing which indicate you are more in alignment with your heart-centered values.

I am doing my best at home, work, with my health and giving 100% of my effort.
I am taking good care of myself through regular exercise, better nutrition, and getting the right amount of sleep.
I am fully invested in my family and romantic relationships.

EMOTIONS/Looking forward, 18 weeks from now, the three most predominant inner feelings which describe what I'm experiencing are:

Confident that I can see my transformation through to forever.
Humble about the progress I've made and excited about the growth to come in the future.
Happy because I believe in myself and am part of a larger community of positive energy.

MINDSET/Three new beliefs about my ability to make changes for the better that are evident from my transformation success so far:

I can do it.
I deserve a good life.
Everyday is an opportunity and I will seize it.

BODY/And now, the physical.
Three specific statements which describe the transformed condition of my body, 18 weeks from now, which are objectively verifiable and measureable are:

My weight is 270.
My blood sugar is 90.
My after pictures show definite improvement including a smaller belly.

Zumba!!!

Today I took a Zumba class at Alvin Ailey!!!! One hour long!!!! I almost didn't go. My friend, Camille, pepped me up and motivated me enough to go. I felt so intimated just by the thought of going. I knew I was going to be the heaviest one in the class (and I was) and I didn't want to look stupid or stick out like a very sore thumb. I did good. My moves didn't always look like the instructor but I kept up as best I could. Also, it was fun - but very hard. I got really frustrated at the end when I couldn't get a tango step and because I hadn't been drinking water, I started to feel sick. So I took a moment, got some water, went to the bathroom and returned to class to finish the stretch. I am going to go again on Friday with Camille.

Soooo, I am proud of myself for going. I felt great when I was done and for the rest of the day, although tonite I am exhausted! I have a headache and I'm typing this from my bed.

What I ate today:

B: Had cereal - half cup each kashi go lean and bare naked banana nut granola with almond milk.
S: Ginger larabar, coffee
L: Lean cuisine, pumpkin squash ravioli
S: Corn chips (bad!!)
D: Burrito, tomato soup, 2 wasa wafers w/cheese

Day 19/30 EA Active

I finished up my 13th workout for the challenge (30 days = 20 workouts). Forehead dripping with sweat, which makes me feel good.

It was a great workout. Upper body focused, no squats or lunges (which I hate).

Next workout is squat holds and lunges so I need to prepare myself mentally for that. I may actually skip the squats and squat holds. Too hard on my knees. I wish they would let you sub other exercises but oh well. Maybe I'll keep the squat holds. Don't want to miss four exercises in case it is included twice.

Eating so far has been blah. Had six eggs! Made two egg salad sandwiches with l/f mayo, tumeric, mustard, diet whole wheat bread. Not sure why I did that. For lunch I am making a smoothie with orange juice, maca, banana, froz berries and some greens - maybe spinach, and flax seed. Dinner tonite is grilled steak, roasted beets, and mashed potatoes.

I want to take a Zumba class tomorrow. Hope I don't punk out.

New title. New attitude.

I retitled my blog, The Athlete Within. I wrote something down on a post-it this week at work: Honor The Athlete Within. When I think of athletes, I think of someone with determination, focus, someone who is goal-oriented, who has their eyes on the prize and knows that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

I want to be that person. I want to honor my inner athlete. I want to set goals, accomplish things, feel empowered and in control of my destiny and health. I want to make good decisions about working out and eating. I want to make my health and fitness a priority.

I am diabetic, more than 100 lbs overweight, and I seem to be going in the wrong direction. Here's what I am currently doing:

I am making green smoothies -- shakes made of greens and fruit -- and drinking a quart of this during the work week.
I am doing the EA Active 30-Day Challenge for the Wii. I am just finished my 12th workout and am on day 18 of the challenge.
I bought a workout card for Alvin Ailey Studios. I plan to go there to take Zumba twice a week to add more cardio to my routines.

What I need to work on:

Eating better. Less processed food. Watching portions. Watching the salt. Being diligent about eating well during my last meal of the day.
Sleeping more. I currently get 5-6 hours a night and this just isn't working for me. I feel so tired and it is easier to blow off workouts when I don't get proper rest. Also I know that sleep has a direct impact on weight loss.
Drinking more water. I am getting at least 6 cups a day but I've got to get it up to 8.
Taking my vitamins/fish oil daily
Getting one TB of flaxseed daily

Today I have eaten:
B: 2 fried eggs in olive oil, 2 slices wheat toast with smart start butter and fruit spread, two cups of coffee w/sugar and almond milk
L: Healthy choice portabello pasta and a can of Amy's LF Cream of Tomato Soup
S: Banana

Yowza

I finished a great week of workouts. Did three Jari Love strength workouts and two Turbo Jam cardios. Decided I need to do more strength training and Jari certainly fits the bill. I generally use 8lb dumbells for the workouts (except for some leg exercises) and definitely feel the burn. Here is how I am modifying two of the workouts:

Get Ripped: Slim and Lean -- when she does the lunges that alternate front and back I may only do rear lunges -- especially when she is going quickly. It is hard for me to keep my balance with lunges and I'm afraid I'll injure myself.

Get Ripped: Slim to the Core: I was surprised that this workout didn't have a warm up. What is up with that? I was a little mad at her about that one. It was a good workout though. Rung me out. I went a little light since it was my first time doing the workouts but I definitely need my eights for most of it.

I can definitely feel all those squats and lunges today in my butt and hamstrings. Would love, love, love to see a difference in that area.

The Turbo Jam cardio was great. I did Fat Blaster earlier in the week (30 mins) and the floor work in Ab Jam. This morning I did Punch, Kick & Jam (almost 50 mins) and the standing work in Ab Jam. At one point in PKJ, Chalene is doing some capoeria moves. There is one where you grab something in the air and act as if you are taking a person down. She said something along the lines of "pretend like you are grabbing your obstacles out of the air." It really gave me a boost. That is what I like about Chalene -- her energy and encouragement.

I may do one more cardio tomorrow to make up for the one I couldn't complete on Thursday morning. I got about 10 mins, if that, into the 20 min workout but my stomach was really bothering me and I couldn't continue.

Checked my blood glucose today and happy with the reading. I notice that if I don't have too many carbs in the evening, I am generally on track the next morning. I had a great dinner last night -- these vegan thai dumplings I got from Whole Foods (about 600 cals) and some watermelon. I plan to eat healthy for the rest of the day. Not perfect, but good quality food at least.